Sunday, May 4, 2008

The rules for loving

You know that country song, the words 'if you can't be with the one you love, you love the one you're with'...I always hated that concept.  Then I realized its pretty much how I lived the years from 1963 thru 1989.    I have come to realize there's nothing wrong with loving two people at the same time.  Then I decided I didn't need to waste my time any more and just went on loving the one I wasn't with.   But I do understand at the same time, it is possible to love two people at the same time. 

I'm not saying it's the same kind of love, but it is having respect for the feelings of another, trying to lead them in the direction of finding their own happiness, and appreciating the things they added to your life.  You have to appreciate the things you shared and the value the other person added to your life.  Even when you are no longer with the other person you have to acknowledge the value they added to your life, and the things you learned from that relationship.  

All in all, I now believe things have worked out exactly the way they were supposed to work out.  We were supposed to be with the people we were with at the time we were with them.  We weren't supposed to be with them when we weren't.  I believe our souls planned the whole thing, and even the souls of those we spent time with who didn't turn out to be the loves of our lives were planned to be in our lives at the times they were.   We had things to accomplish and we had to do certain things on our own.  I wouldn't be the person I am today without all of the people who touched my life in the past.  

I don't resent the events that happened in my life, though I wish I'd remembered some things I've always known.  I wish I'd remembered always I'm in charge of how I feel about things.  I wish I'd remembered I'm not responsible for how anyone else feels about me, I'm only responsible about how I feel about them.  I wish I'd acknowledged I was loved all those years I believed I was merely lost.  I wish I'd understood the words that were said to me.  I'm glad I remembered those words and have come to understand them now. 

I wouldn't change a thing that's happened in the past.  It was all a part of the growth of my soul.  I'm excited about the future and what it will bring.  No matter how things turn out, I will always know I'm loved, and whether I'm with the one I love on this side, or when we both arrive on the Other Side matters not.  It would be cool to spend more time together on this side, but the one thing I understand is Forever is a wonderfully long time to be loved.

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