I panic whenever a major change occurs in my life. Yet at the same time, I'm always wishing this and wishing that. I'm supposed to be the wishing expert. It's very hard to kick oneself in the behind to say "wake up silly! It's just your wishes getting ready to come true!" Most recently I learned my son was going to be moving to California. Abandonment! How could he? Wait. I did the same thing to my mother. Yet it is somewhat different. I was 22 and my mother was 42 and she had my father around to help take care of her. I'm 65 and although my mother is 86 and lives some 30 miles from me, my father died in 2000. Even though my father was blind and disabled when he died, I still felt a bit of security knowing he was there in the event I needed him. I've been counting on my son to fill in and help me out when things get a little rough and I need help with things. So I started making a list of what I've needed him for, besides hugs. He's helped me with car repairs. He's helped me with house repairs. I've got friends who could do those jobs, if I needed them. He's my son. He's always going to love his mother. No doubt about it. What could be better than having unconditional love, knowing that it's a forever thing and nothing is ever going to change it.
Somewhere within my font of wisdom I understand that when there are changes in ones life, it means that other things are coming into ones life to fill up the spaces. Wow! That's exciting. I wonder what's coming up next. I can't wait. Oh yeah....the patience thing. Thanks God. But hurry up with the patience.
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